conception

i thought there was life inside of me.
i told you so.
you believed me so
i kept on believing too.
two heartbeats,
and brains.
two tongues, whispering
the same growing lie.

but nothing grew in me
except hope and fear.

saw an expert,
"there is nothing there.
and if there were,
it's gone  now.
gone for good."

my empty belly aches.

a lie conceived when hope and fear
tangled their sweaty legs,
hair and fingers twisting
and turning
making nothing more than shallow breaths and gritted teeth.

for two-hundred and eighty days
a phantom swims in me.
fluttering and sighing and filling me up.

but the ghost is not there.
and if it were,
it's gone now.
gone for good.